There are some days when you feel like you have failed, like you are failing at something, anything. These days are not going to go down in the record books as memorable joyous occasions but they are still days, they are still important defining moments of your life. Today is one of those days for me! Thankfully they come and go as quick as they came but it is here in all it’s thickness and all it’s glory. I however am fully prepared for it, ready for the battle that will commence, in fact I’ve already started.
I can’t imagine that anyone enters in to marriage to want it to end, I certainly did not and yet it happens, it happens to so many wonderful normal people. In absolute fact no one enters anything wishing or hoping for failure, for it to go wrong, why would you? Today I know I failed, I’m regretful about it failing but and there always has to be a but doesn’t there?
I tried and I know deep in my heart I could not have done any more. That’s what matters right?! We can’t spend our lives giving and trying and getting nothing back in return. Why keep on flogging the dead horse? It is deeply saddening that the horse has died, so just leave it at that, don’t waste another second trying to ignite something that the flames have flickered and gone from, the light is not there. The light is twinkling somewhere inside, somewhere in the distance. Not too far that you can’t see it, far enough away that you notice it and can truly appreciate it when you get there. Basically you now have to find the light somewhere else. The safest and nicest, cosiest place to find the light is in your own self, your own love for you.
Whatever you believe in or whatever you don’t believe in. You have to believe in yourself, you have to know and truly grasp that you are enough that you don’t need anyone else for anything, that you are capable of loving yourself. You need to know that pleasing others will not make you be the person you are meant to be. We are defined by our actions and our lifestyle choices. Let them be yours and yours alone. You don’t need someone else’s permission to be who you want to be, nor do you need acceptance of another. The person that loves you exactly as you are, despite all ends is the person that deserves your complete attention.
Hey, woah, hold on there…I’m not at all saying I have it all figured out…yet…but I’m well on the way and I can truly say I am happy, I am fulfilled and I am not even halfway on this exotic journey on this labyrinthine route to the centre of me.
Amie Alissa Watson is the founder, writer and creator of ‘In pursuit of life’ blog and podcast. Through the educational slow fashion brand Amie Alissa Design we explore living a more sustainable, ethical, eco & thoughtful life and discover ways to look after the mind. We explore and strive to lead a healthier, happier more holistic way of life. Join me on my quest for all things eco, let’s continue to strip back our lives and tread more lightly on the planet with a healthy heart and mind. Let’s manifest our lives together as one and create the vision, the dreams for a greener slower better world.
Fashion Designer, fashion and textiles lecturer, eco advocate, eco activist, founder of eco businesses Amie Alissa Design, The Refill Shed, Eco Courses plus climate action group YHCAG Yorkshire & Humber Climate Action Group
An ethically minded and empowered individual with a drive to meeting sustainable needs locally. Running a design business serving the community. As a family we strive to recycle and do our bit whilst supporting charity, conservation. We hope to educate others and work towards improving local infrastructure.